Pepe’a

Tēnā koe
Ko Tenemāka, ko Tiamana, ko Airani, ko Ingarangi ngā w’akapaparanga mai
Engari
Ko Taranaki te maunga nānā au i w’akaruru’au
I tipu ake au I te ta’a o ngā awa o Te Ana-a-Wai me Ōpi’i
Ko Waita’a ki te Tonga te w’enua tupu
Ko te pāmu o Glenfield te kāinga
Nō Pleasant Point au
Ko Roberts tōku whānau
Nō reira, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā tatou katoa.

My BACKGROUND

I was born and bred in a small rural town in the South Island of Aotearoa, New Zealand.  I grew up in a farming community, which instilled in me a love for nature and the sea.  I now live and work in Taranaki, Aotearoa/New Zealand, having travelled the country from top to bottom several times over in a house bus with my children.  I have navigated grief, suicide, divorce, and deconstruction of religious idealisms, all as part of my individuation journey.

I honour Te Tiriti o Waitangi as the founding document of Aotearoa.  I recognise mātauranga Māori and mātauranga Iwi as taonga.  I deeply respect this Whenua and acknowledge the complexities of privilege, the impact of Colonisation, and the challenges that Tangata Whenua face in Aotearoa in striving to enact Tino Rangatiratanga.  I treasure my ongoing formal learning journey with Te Reo Māori (He Pī Ka Rere 2025 ki Ngāmotu Wharekura, Level 3 & 4 with Te Wānanga o Aotearoa).

I am a participant in sex-positive communities and friends with those who navigate various relationship configurations.  I highly value and advocate for each person to develop and celebrate their own sexual identity and orientation.  I am kink and BDSM aware. I acknowledge the intersectional challenges of sexuality in populations with disability, neurodiversity, gender, sexual, and relationship diversity, cultural and religious controls, and gender and race inequality, amongst many others. With my occupational lens, I support advocacy for social change and pragmatic problem-solving in our social, cultural, political and physical environments to promote equity and access. I believe in the work of dismantling stigmatising societal perceptions.

My strengths include creating a safe and inclusive space.  I enjoy gentle humour, where appropriate, to make the journey easier.  I gently challenge and support people with my compassionate strength, encouraging us to dig deep, face our fears, process our shame, and work through our pain, both individually and collectively. With supportive therapy, skills, education and resources, we can transform and bring about lasting inclusion, freedom and change.

MY Qualifications

I am a Sexologist (PGDip Sexol, Curtin University, Perth, Australia), a registered Occupational Therapist (NZROT, Otago Polytechnic), a qualified Sex and Relationship Therapist and a Trauma-Informed Grief and Loss Therapist (see approaches utilised below).  I am a contracted consultant affiliated with Sex Therapy New Zealand, an ACC Registered Health Professional, and contracted with Taranaki Primary Connections. I am well-versed in understanding the medical model, so I comfortably liaise in this space, having worked in primary, secondary and specialist levels, such as Hospice; however, my focus and expertise are utilising a holistic and therapeutic approach to address each person’s relationship, sexual, or grief and loss concerns.  I am a member of both national and international professional associations, and I actively participate in regular supervision and ongoing professional development to stay current with evolving information.

Therapeutic approaches used

My utmost priority is that you feel safe and heard.  I utilise a trauma-informed intersystem approach, and as an integrative therapist, I combine aspects of various approaches to reach the desired outcome and goals you have.  I draw from a wide array of theories, models, and frameworks, thanks to my extensive training in Occupational Therapy, Sexuality, Cultural Training, Grief and Loss, Trauma and Attachment, Brief Intervention, Behavioural Change, and Talking Therapies.

I provide therapy around sexuality, relationships, gender, behaviour change, mental health, trauma, and grief and loss.  I will advocate for and support your access to services and assistive devices to support your needs. I am also an Educator on the topic of healthy relationships, menstrual cycle awareness, menarche and menopause, and I offer sexual health and pleasure education in the community and professional settings.

People will attend relationship or sex therapy for a multitude of reasons and to address several different issues.  For example, I work with people to resolve communication breakdowns, lack of knowledge of how to move through difficult situations, trauma and childhood adverse situations affecting patterns of behaviour, difficulties regulating self, sensory difficulties, support with access to services or assistive devices, and lack of fulfilment in relationships.  Also, sexual challenges, both organic and psychogenic, processing the aftermath of affairs, sexual problems, adjusting to changes of identity, loss related to life stages, and desires to improve ‘sex life’, intimacy and connection.

Examples of some of the approaches I am trained in are:

• Biopsychosocial Approach/Psychobiosocial Approach (McCarthy Koman & Cohn, 2018)
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
• Strengths Approach
• Solution-Focused Brief Therapy
• Internal Family Systems Model – Introduction and Deepening.
• The Palliative Holistic Approach to Grief and Loss
• Continuing Bonds Model of Grief and Loss
• The Bader Pearson Developmental Model for Relationships – Attachment, Differentiation, and Neuroscience
• Gottman Method Couples Therapy:
• – completion of Level 1 and 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy.
• – completion of Treating Affairs and Trauma training – Gottman Institute.
• Shirley Glass’ Infidelity Guide/Approach
• Esther Perel’s Infidelity Guide/Approach
• The Occupational Therapy Sexual Assessment Framework (OTSAF)
• Neurodiversity, including Autism and ADHD Approaches
• Ex-PLISSIT model, Recognition Model, Sexual Health and Integrative Pleasure (SHIP) Model
• Polyamory Approaches, ie Martha Kauppi’s work
• Trauma-Informed Practice
• Certified in Pae Tata Pae Tawhiti Approach – Applying Māori principles and practices in brief and early intervention for mental health and substance use concerns.
• Te Whare Tapa Whā
• Transtheoretical Approach
• Social Learning Theory, Cognitive Developmental Theory, Gender Schema Theory, Neurophysiological Theory, Social Constructivism
• Femenome/ Menstrual Cycle Awareness/360° Approach/Natural Fertility Management/Eco-feminism
• Compassionate Communication
• Mindfulness
• Sensory Integration and Emotional Regulation
• Sensate Focus
• Home play Exercises

My Approach

Your sexual choices, orientation, and abilities are respected in a safe and judgment-free environment.  I utilise my expertise to guide and facilitate you while acknowledging that you are the expert and master of your own experience. I help clients develop a healthy, empowered relationship with their sexual thoughts, desires, fantasies, behaviours, and identities — always with compassion, curiosity, and respect.

I work with individuals and relationships of various configurations.  I identify as a CIS gender (she/her), Pakehā, sex-positive heterosexual.  I offer a rainbow-friendly and ally space.  My Sexology training enables me to examine my biases constructively, identify my edges and acknowledge my privileges and shortcomings.  I celebrate the spectrum of gender and sexual diversity.  All gender expressions, sexual orientations & relationship styles are welcome. I may not walk in your shoes, and my identity/preferences may not reflect yours; however, with openness and respect, I will happily and comfortably discuss with you your unique sexual identity, expressions, experiences, kinks and fetishes.

I work in partnership with you, and I ask that you share the language and understanding that reflects your experience of the world.  As has been known to happen with gender and sexual diversity, the ‘burden of educating the therapist’ can fall on the client.  I believe it is vital that this burden does not occur.  I am committed to ongoing upskilling and professional development and readily accept this responsibility.